Since I can’t sleep,

I guess this is a good time to vent about everything.

School has been, is, and will always be stressing for me. I guess I’ve already accepted that fact but that doesn’t mean it gets any less difficult. Knowing my parent’s expectations and not being able to meet them sucks to say the least, but it’s also what motivates me to do better.

Well my dad’s finally home after like two months, and his first days back all my mom and I have been doing is fighting fighting fighting. And I admit I’ve been disappointing them a lot lately but the weird thing is, my dad never even says a word about it. About the times I got caught sneaking out, left dents on the garage door, stole his cigarettes, he hasn’t yelled at me or even had a talk with me. And I guess I should be relieved because I get enough of that from my mom, but sometimes I hella wonder if he even gives a fuck. I’ve always been so jealous of those “daddy’s girls” because my dad is rarely around and when he is, there’s this awkward tension between us and I really fucking hate it. Yeah he puts food on the table and everything and I really do appreciate him for that but when it comes to parenting it’s like he doesn’t care or he’s just clueless. And the relationship between my mother and I is fucking deteriorating, enough said -_- I really really miss my brother.

I still read that letter you gave me and I find it so fucking funny how you didn’t follow through with any of the bullshit that you wrote. But I guess I should be used to that by now haha.

I’ll probably update this later but I’m getting sleepy now so goood night loves.